Monday, March 3, 2025

Turning the Page: Fresh Starts & Radical Self-Love


 So, you all know I’m a book blogger and author’s assistant, right? I’m pretty stoked on this title because it fits so perfectly 😍.


Today is a special, anxiety ridden day for me. I’m making a big change. I am going back to teaching in a Montessori school. I did this for 12 years before starting freelance work from home, and now I’m returning after a 7 year break. 



When I left, I was 30… now I’m 37. There’s a big difference- just ask my knees and back, lol.


But hey, I know it will probably be fine. I spent some time caring for myself yesterday: 1. Going bowling despite having so much work to do. Letting myself enjoy my wife and our friends and some fun. It can be hard for me to do. 2. Letting myself cry it out in my wife's arms. It feels silly to cry over something like this, but I will miss her and our cats so much while I’m gone. And I have ✨ anxiety ✨, so everything is a big deal for me. Change gets me every time. But it’s inevitable.


So this morning I woke up at 5, giving myself a few hours of free time. I did some work, tarot, journaling, listening to spring jazz music, drinking coffee and posting in my groups


I’m going to put on my Hello Kitty puffy eye mask and then get dressed as cute as I can, do my  makeup, and try to have a sparkly, fun day. 


One big thing in my self care is getting dressed and putting on makeup. I did my nails last night. That sometimes fell by the wayside working from home for the last several years. So this will be good for me. 


I’m still keeping my author’s assistant job, just scaling back a bit, but I honestly love what I do so much. I’m hoping the new job is the same. 


This routine should hopefully allow me to blog more, too! So yay!


What are you working through this week? Comment below or send me a DM. I’d love to hear from you!








Saturday, February 8, 2025

5 Self-Care Tips That Actually Work (Even If You’re Busy AF)

 

I’m all about self-care, but let’s be real...life is BUSY. No matter how good our intentions are, fitting in self-care can feel like just another thing on the to-do list.

But here’s the truth: self-care doesn’t have to be a big, time-consuming production. It just has to work for you.

Here are five self-care tips that ACTUALLY make a difference. Tried, tested, and totally doable!

1. The Two-Minute Reset

Feeling overwhelmed? Set a timer for two minutes and do something just for you. Deep breathing, a quick stretch, or stepping outside for fresh air can instantly shift your mood.

Even though I work from home, I get caught up in the grind and forget to pause. I’ll find my shoulders hunched, my jaw clenched tight. Now, I make it a habit to set a two-minute timer, take deep breaths, and relax my body. It’s a tiny action that makes a HUGE difference.

2. The “Non-Negotiable” Rule

Pick one self-care habit—whether it’s drinking enough water, journaling for five minutes, or washing your face at night—and make it non-negotiable, no matter how chaotic life gets.

For me, my non-negotiable should be drinking more water (working on it! πŸ˜…), but my true daily must-do is tarot and journaling each morning. It grounds me before the day kicks into high gear and helps me start from a place of calm instead of stress.

3. Stack It with Something You Already Do

The easiest way to fit in self-care? Attach it to a habit you already have. Listen to an audiobook while driving, do a 30-second body scan while waiting for coffee, or practice gratitude while brushing your teeth.

For me, it’s showering or washing my face—I use that time to go through my gratitude practice. Self-care doesn’t have to be extra work; sometimes, it’s just about pairing it with what you’re already doing.

4. Say No Without Guilt

Protect your energy by setting boundaries. You don’t have to explain or justify declining plans, muting notifications, or saying “not right now” to extra responsibilities.

I’ll admit, saying no isn’t my strong suit, but I’m learning. One way I’ve started setting boundaries is by establishing clear work and non-work hours—no more checking my phone or responding to messages all night long. And let me tell you, it feels so good.

5. The Five-Minute Declutter

A messy space = a messy mind. If clutter stresses you out (same!), set a five-minute timer and tackle a small area—your desk, nightstand, or even your purse.

If you haven’t noticed, I love using timers to break up my day. I’ll put on music, set a five-minute countdown, and tidy up my workspace. My desk gets chaotic FAST, but clearing it off gives me a sense of calm and control.


Which One Speaks to You?

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by self-care, start with just ONE of these tips. Try it for a week, then add another. Small shifts lead to big changes.

Let me know which one you’re trying and how you’re taking care of yourself this week! πŸ’–

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Friday, February 7, 2025

Flaws & All: How I Learned to Love My Imperfections

 


I was 27 when I first started learning to love myself. I was getting divorced and wasn’t sure who I was anymore without someone else’s influence. I don’t think I had ever known. It was messy and uncomfortable and I remember wanting to throw myself immediately into another relationship to try and make it easier. 


I told myself ‘No!’ No Tinder for at least six months. I had lost most of my friends because of my previous relationship, so I didn’t even have them to distract me.

I moved in with my cousin near the beach. That little purple room, with its big mirror and a picture of Marilyn Monroe, became my sanctuary. And this is where the magic started ✨✨✨.

I spent so much time alone there, drinking red wine and watching the L word, dreaming of what I wanted my new life to be like.


The very first thing I did was take myself to the movies. I am terrified of theatres but I wanted to prove to myself I could do it. I went to watch 50 Shades of Grey. I wasn’t into the movie, so I left early. But I still felt proud. I had done it. And that was the start of something new: taking myself out on dates.

I would go to the library, the bowling alley, bars, restaurants, and malls. It was so freaking hard to make myself at first, but after a while it got easier. At first, I was terrified of what people might think, being alone, going places solo. But you know what I learned? I’m great company.

I started to not care what people might think, and ended up meeting new people, enjoying new experiences, and learning so much about myself. 



I think this is also when I started my first inner child work. Having lost my mom to murder at 18, and surviving attempted murder myself, I had a lot to work through there. 

I used to deny myself (what others considered) frivolous things that I wanted like stuffed animals, cute blankets, and anything with Hello Kitty. I never liked how I looked so I wouldn’t buy anything extra like tights or thigh highs or cute dresses that took me out of my comfort zone. So, I did.

I started getting myself those silly things I liked, and it was so healing. For the first time, I allowed myself joy without shame. I eventually moved out into my own studio (another thing I had been told I could never do, and honestly didn’t believe I could either because of my PTSD). Surrounding myself with all of these cute little things made me fall in love with being in my space. That was so important for me. For many trauma survivors, it’s hard to feel safe and enjoy the space you’re in. I think this is also why I didn’t feel I deserve nice things or to be comfortable. 

Now… when it comes to the dressy stuff. Wow! Buying new dresses, tights and thigh highs made me feel like a million bucks. I would take out my iphone and set it on the self timer and take photos of myself. Yep. This began my love and still-never-ending relationship with the ‘selfie’. People love to hate selfies and people taking them, so I never did it. No one was around to judge me, so I stopped judging myself. I learned to fall in love with myself through the lens of my iPhone.

A picture from one of my old blogs! I've been blogging forever!


I started to like what I saw looking back at me. 

It was like, maybe I could see what others saw me as. Everything was fine with my body- we were starting to get along, but I still (and still do!) struggle with my face. 

And now, because nothing is ever linear or ‘complete’ when it comes to this, I struggle with body issues because of my weight. I’m working on it for myself, but with love and grace instead of hate and cruelty. That’s another post for itself, though.

Everything was perfect in my little bubble- my cute studio apartment filled with everything I loved, my new wardrobe and confidence, and the knowledge that I didn’t NEED anyone else to make me feel complete. I was becoming my own best friend. It was really a beautiful thing and a beautiful time in my life.

Has it always been easy? No! This was 12 years ago, and while I mostly love myself, I still struggle. Mental health plays a big part in it, too. I have depression, bipolar, anxiety, and PTSD, so living with those can be a struggle and they all play their roles in my life. 

I’m still learning, still growing. And that’s the beauty of it! Self-love isn’t a destination, it’s a journey. And I’m so glad you’re here with me. ✨ 



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